Yes? Please....Heck No!!

I use to get on my nerves. But I was holding that two letter word in. I was saying Yes to everything. Can you? Yes. Will you? Yes.  May you? Yes.  We need. Yes. Blah Blah Blah! I was tired of it. My insides were telling me I needed to do something but I didn't listen. I was still doing what everybody else wanted me to do. Until, that awful day, my body got tired. It said No! Yes, my body said No! I was in doctoral school, working 3 jobs, doing all the Yes stuff for other people, and even more. I look back on my school days and I loved to say No! I didn't want to be part of some stupid popular group, I made up my own. I made my way. I did my thing.  I was an Independent Misfit. It was cool. I was in my own lane and loving it! All day, every day. Hahaha! That was just me. But then, I went to college and well............*see my shirt* cute right? don't say it...hahaha...(ok back to the story)......

Well, you ask what happened? Fear. Yes, fear set in. I was doing so many things, and wanted to succeed at all of them, and the one thing I didn't realize, succeeding, does not mean you say yes to everything. You can still succeed if you say No!  Even Heck No! This is what makes you the individual you are. You have your own path and your own unique mind. I was in an awful space and I broke down. I went to the doctor and was told simply, You need to say "No" and get some rest. You can't do everything. We need help sometimes. This is hard for me still, as I tend to be very independent. I'm still an Independent Misfit. Some now however  say I'm a smarty pants. Great! Awesome! Say It.  I don't follow everything, I don't feel everything, I don't like everything, and so what?   I use to think, if I didn't people please, love wouldn't be there. Boy, was I wrong.

Once I took that doctor's advice, I was expressing everything. I was cursing like a sailor. I started  expressing to the umpteenth power. I was just trying to express how I felt and I did. It felt good. It felt great! Once I realized this, I couldn't go back. There was no way I was going back. My Dad said to me one day when I came home, "you sure were nice and quiet before you left." Hahahah! Oh yeah! I look at myself and that expressive part of me is something I was discussing with my mom. She said she was nice and quiet at first too, but boy has she changed! I'm still for the most part, a generally quiet natured person, but when it's time for a "No", you're gonna get it.  Express. Get It Out... Say It, "Heck No"! Until Next Time, Peace.

D.