Hand Washing.... ......

This is beautiful. At the surface of everything, is this. Where would the world be if someone, somewhere didn't experience this? We all can get intellectual, we all can become deep, but you can quiet my disruption of intentionally starting an argument with this. When love grabs my hand, well, its over.  No matter how much we may make each other angry or disagree, when love holds your hand, it never lets it go. When two can do this one simple thing, it is beautiful. Love is felt, right at the surface. Wash my heart of all the doubt, and all the things that take me away from the love I'm suppose to see with you. Wash my mind so that I can only remember the loving moments and beautiful times we shared. No need for a long conversation, this says everything. I don't care what he said,  she said, we said, it said, they said, or you said, I say wash my heart with just enough room to love fearlessly. Wash the dirt away. Nothing left to say. Wash all the fear away. My hands are here so that you can feel my trust. When my hands are in yours, how clean does your heart feel? Whose hand has that fit for yours? Well Until Next Time, Peace.

D.

Exposure..............

If I closed my eyes, what would be in view to me? Absolutely nothing. I would only see darkness. Even though to someone else with their eyes open, they could see my keyboards, my guitar, and all the pictures on my wall, they could see my space and say, there is a heaven of music inside this chick. However, if I was asked what I saw, I would say "mere darkness and nothing" because my eyes are closed. I can't see anything. I would be going pretty much by what I had been exposed to. Even though there is all this musical, magical stuff in my room, I couldn't see it because, my eyes were closed.

I think we can be so conditioned by our experiences, as well as people that are close to us in our lives. My parents were the first people of whom I was able to watch and encounter, so many of my perceptions, ideals, and beliefs, even though we have some strong disagreements on certain things, I still however see my mom in me, and I see my dad so much in me. These were the first people I was exposed to. Even though I try not to admit it, and declare my independence, they speak through me in some way.


Many times, through my experiences of just living life, dealing with people, and myself, I had to dig deeper. Past experiences can affect how we look at things in the present and sometimes determine just how much we want to see. I can remember one time, I was talking to a friend, who was going through some major trust issues with a dude. I would ask her, well what do you see? Does he give you any reason to think he's seeing someone else? She would tell me constantly, "no not really, I just don't trust dudes". She has a firm belief, that no matter what cloud you think you're on, their all the same.  "I should cross on over on the other side and start dating chicks." I laughed and said, don't think because you date a chick, you couldn't have the same experience:-) However, I had to stop myself and I thought about it, we can base so much on what we experienced in the past, that's all we see in our future.  We are constantly thinking about the mud we walked in, yet we don't realize there could be a yellow brick road about a mile away, if we open our eyes to it. That yellow brick road has been there the whole time, however, we can't even see it, because we are so focused on the mud.  Even though I'm experiencing the mud right now, I know that somewhere, someway, I'm going to walk right on that yellow brick road. Even though I may not have experienced it yet, I feel and know its there. I can't stop believing that because I've only been exposed to the mud.

When we have been exposed to things, they come to life, and sometimes block the view of the beautiful things that could be awaiting us. "In photography some cameras can have positive or negative compensation. They can have more (positive) exposure, or less (negative). When I narrow my view of things and evaluate every experience from things that happened to me in the past, I look over the beautiful things that could arise from me opening my view. I had the hardest time believing this myself, but I can develop my own exposures to see the most beautiful picture. Love.:-) Well until next time, Peace.

D.

What If???

What If??...I said "I think you are beautiful and yes I do like you and yes the reason why I'm trying so hard not to like you is because we both know, well, that I like you? What If I expressed exactly how I felt and looked love intensely in the eyes? I think back on situations I've experienced in the past  and well, I found out my vibration and energy already spoke. They already knew.:-)

Sometimes I have the hardest time saying things. There have been quite a few times I've wanted to say something, and my lips just wouldn't open up wide enough to let the words come out. When I think back, in some cases, maybe it was great I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound like I made up the Gibberish language. Who knows? But there is something that speaks for me.  My silence has said for me many times what my words could not. Others have picked up on it too, even though I was trying to play myself and them by ignoring things or running from what my vibration was bouncing back to me. When others can feel your vibration, along with intuition, they know already.   If I were to put my vibration into words, they would be pretty intense.  I like to do this sometimes and look at myself in third person. I would ask myself, what do I see?  When you can look at yourself in third person, it makes me see so many things in a different light. It was so hard for me to do one day, because  it was like I was watching myself on a movie screen and I just kept asking myself, "why does this chick keep holding back"?

 Does she have any idea that all the things she has ever wanted, can be hers? What If, you actually went for it?   So what's holding you back? Every time I saw myself, I saw myself as a little puppy, expressing with the most intense bark. Roof Roof! I kept seeing that...Roof Roof dammit! I realized, that's what's inside of me and it has to come out. I have been wondering why this feeling has been inside. Almost like, there is something great I have to create. It is not going to stop bothering me, until its done. That's why I've been rather unsatisfied with creative things I've been exposed to lately. They are simply not up to par with what's creatively brewing on the inside of me. There is something creatively intense and great that I'm going to be doing in the near future. Things are falling into place so easily. I am a little nervous of the unknown, but I do know now, I actually see what I've been expressing sometime, things are changing, right before my very eyes. Why? Because I expressed these things to myself subconsciously and consciously. Now I see they are here, in my space, in my life.  I have tried to run, I have tried to cut corners, it just will not work for me however. When my hands create, they want to reach a space that no one has reached, and touch a place, no one has felt. When my hands create, they want to express the deepest feeling, with the slightest touch. Now, its happening because I expressed it to myself, and its appearing before me.  If I did the exercise of expressing these same desires to anything I want, these things will appear to me. They will  and they have. I smile because in a blink of an eye, "what if" can be "what is". Well until next time, Peace.

D.

What does "Grumpy" really think about Vday? Blah blah blah....

 I don't like this day. It is just another day.  It is this infamous Valentine's Day. For some, this is the day, they are reminded that they are not with that one they truly desire to be with. For some, this may be the day they broke up with someone. All the balloons, candy, and everybody saying I love you, "whatever".  What does grumpy do on Valentine's Day? We make fun of you ridiculous fools in love out there. Who cares anyway? Take your stupid candy, balloons, and all your mushy gushy garbage and shove it. If I see one more stupid post on love and Valentine's day I'm gonna hurl. All love does is open you up, and then cuts you like a knife. Who wants that?

What do I say about Valentines Day? Blah blah blah. And....blah!

I've been there. Yes, grumpy had me in a corner, talking to me, whispering in my ear. I sometimes felt like his facial expressions and demeanor, would be what you would see if you opened me up on the inside. Pretty ugly right? Yes. I know. I admit it though. Valentine's day can be a day for many, that they feel alone . They only feel despair, dreadfulness, and numb to anybody on that "goo goo ga ga" love tip.

But then here she comes out of nowhere. Out of nowhere, she says nothing, but her presence is felt. Yes, she comes and clears the air. She is beautiful and she carries love. Love is needed. I think "Grumpys" are needed too.  It can turn the grumpiest person into the most powerful proponent for love.  There are Grumpys. Always will be. But someone out there has enough love and strength to love "Grumpy" too.  When Grumpy finds and feels this love, all the anger, animosity, and sarcasm, can turn into a joy and happiness, the world has waited to see. So if I'm Grumpy on this Valentines Day, its all good, it just gives love another chance to show its power. Well Until next time, Peace.

D.

"Weird" or "Normal"?

I was talking to a friend of mine and he happened to mention that people called his family not your typical, "normal" family. Every time I would go and visit him, I would see his mom, and his grandma, as well as his niece. They are some wonderful people that you can sense are full of love. His grandma always greets me with the biggest hug and you can just feel she comes from that place.  From the time I've met him, I always knew there was something different about him, yet it was something that seemed very familiar to me. He has an old soul, and the way he talks, sometimes it sounds like music he's creating on the spot from his lips. He says some of the most amazing things and I don't think he knows how divine his words are. They flow. When I'm around him, I just listen. I noticed with him, I felt it. It was a peaceful wind, I felt when he spoke.

I guess one of the not so normal tendencies I have is that whatever I "feel", talks to me first. I tend to pick up and listen to the things people don't say, as opposed to what they do say. I feel them first. Feel their words. Feel their language. Feel their tone. Feel their own inner peace or conflict. This "thing" whatever it is, has been with me a long time. In most cases, it has steered me in the right path for me.:-) I guess another "not so normal" thing about me is that I've never been one to follow a lot of things. I've always found that cool space in following what feels peaceful to that inner space I have inside me. It knows when something is of peace, and it knows when something is not. It knows and it feels. Yes, it feels.

When there is a hesitation, and I don't get that peaceful feeling, I acknowledge what I'm feeling.  Whenever I get that "unsettled" feeling, I feel it, and it tells me what to do or not to do . I sometimes never have to say things, but that "feeling" has a way of guiding me to "yay" or "nah" or "hell nah". I always thought it was "weird". I am aware of it, and I acknowledge it. I am certainly aware when I do it as well, which is probably why I'm so good at feeling it with someone else. I also have this thing that happens to me sometimes, I know what a person is going to say, before they say it. Some say this is Deja vu? Not sure, but it is almost as if I have dreamed the location and setting, and I'm waiting for them to say something, and they say it. It has happened to me a couple of times, and I say to myself, okay, I've heard this somewhere before and I knew you were gonna say that. We are just re-enacting this scene. Some people would just call that "weird". Who knows?  Maybe it is.

 Sooooo, back to my friend. He asked me if I knew what the dictionary definition for "weird" was. I said, "No". He said, it is relating or being close to the supernatural. Then he asked if I knew what normal is defined as. He said the dictionary states it means to conform to a standard pattern or type. I had an "Aha" moment. Holy Cow! I'm weird. I knew it, I knew it! But I couldn't deny the other part of me. I admit. I do have normal tendencies:-) However my "Weird" is prevailing at the moment:-)  When I felt the peace he generated in the room, I knew, this was that something about him that allowed no hesitation in me sharing whatever and whenever with him. The feeling he gave was one of sincerity, love, and peace. Listening to him, you would think he's been on this Earth 80 years. Wisdom certainly doesn't have an age limit. I felt like what matters most to many others, didn't really seem like a big deal to him.

When he explained the definition, we both started laughing hysterically and he said, yes, its true, you are far from normal my dear. But its okay. You are not alone. I knew it when I first met you, and that's why we hit it off:-) You maybe weird, but its cool. You just are relating more with that "super" natural part of yourself....:-)  Now I know, my "weird" is kinda cool...!  Which one are you? Well, Happy Valentine's Day  and until next time, Peace. D.

 weird (wîrd) adj. weird·er, weird·est 1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.

 nor·mal (nôrml) adj. 1. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical:

The Voice ..... ...

Throughout life, there are so many voices that cross our path. The voices of others can be so distracting at times, when you are trying to listen to "that" inner voice. The voices of a parent, the voice of a sibling, a friend, a lover, or even a stranger, can try to silence "that" voice. That one voice however, can make the most important decision in our lives. What we say to ourselves, can be the most important voice in changing our lives. I do believe we all have a purpose on Earth, and that purpose is clear if we allow the peace from within to guide us to it. I was just thinking to myself one day, if I had the opportunity to see my life on a movie screen, what would I see? The one thing I would probably notice is me moving into action or not moving into action based on the words of others, and finally moving into action based on the "voice" I finally listened to within myself. Going through the motions, and knowing "that voice" was telling me "no" don't even go there, it's not right for you", many times, I did not listen. When I did not listen, in most cases, I paid for it in the end. It only lead me to moving farther and farther away from myself. I think about so many things as my brain goes on a 'down memory lane' marathon, and I think, if I had listened to "my voice", it would have saved me a world of headache and "going through the motionness". I ask, what the number one reason would be why I was feeling unsatisfied? The one thing I can think of is not allowing my true inner voice to speak. When I did listen however, it said so many great things, like "Yes" and "No" and "Go for It". All these things are valid, true, plain, clear, and beautiful when they are truly the voice of your most inner peace. It can save us and others from not just going through the motions but truly enjoying the motion. My inner voice allows me the ability to know, my path is unique to me, and even though we are all trying to get to the same place of peace, I have my own shoes to walk in to get there. In life there will be people that come into your life, that genuinely love and care for you, and can be a great support, however, they won't be able to walk your unique journey, only you can. That "inner voice" will consistently want to know and will ask that question, "are you in peace or limbo"? When you are there, you never want to leave. To get there, that may mean doing something that friends and loved ones may never understand, changing up a pretty stable routine of "going through the motionness" or just simply moving into the "unknown" and taking a chance. Whatever it is, "the voice of peace" only wants you to move closer to the beautiful creation of love only your peace can see. Until next time, D.

"Lovey Down" to the socks....

I've been noticing my feet lately. I've been noticing my hands lately too. Where these two things have gone and keep going are amazing. My feet have won more than a few track races, and my hands have won more than a few music competitions and basketball games. When someone looks at my hands, they say, you got some veins that come right out at ya. Yes, I play keyboards so my hands and fingers are always going. I've been told they are pretty long, but I guess that runs in my genes. When I look at these parts of my body, I say, these two have taken me places. They keep going, and I just have to smile and allow them to lead me where they must. They've been with me for a while, but this is just the beginning. When you look at someone's hands or feet, what do they tell you? I was browsing in a store the other day, and these socks that had hearts on em attracted me so much, I had to stop and get em. When your hands and feet are filled with love, there is a pretty good chance, you can create something beautiful. Never doubt what your hands can do, and where your feet can take you. Every time I feel I'm about to get in one of my moods, I look at my socks and smile. There is love in my hands, and I got love on my feet. I want to stay "lovey" down to the socks. Haha...Well until next time, Peace.

D.

3:36 a.m. "Trust" delivered in the early morning....

I was on a musical high. Sometimes I go on a cloud and get engulfed in listening to music. Some artist just take me there. Then, I got a message at 3:36 a.m. in the morning from the other side of the world. "It's ready". My new album was delivered to me at 3:36 a.m. 2/3/13. This is five years of all the stuff that people go through in creation mode, growth. I listen to some of the songs and giggle to myself because I remember exactly what space I was in, and what was happening at that time in my life when I wrote it. There are some things that will be coming to an end for me, yet this is a new beginning. Time to celebrate. 3:36 are the numbers I won't forget, and for some reason, they are close to my actual birthdate. Interesting. There are some amazing musicians, and surprise guests on this album that I'm grateful for sharing this creative space. Their spirit motivated me to go beyond the clouds and create. I thank all of you. There is one that was with me to the end, on this journey, my musical hubby, Z. Thank You. I cannot thank you enough for your spirit wisdom, and for being who you are. As I've learned more about my own spirit, I realized you were the spirit guide that I would come back around to the whole time:-) I'm glad your hands are all over this one. We did it! All of this is sooooooo....new and exciting. Five years, love, life, pain, growth, and most importantly, I encountered "it" and I discovered, "Trust" is beautiful. Album coming...It's coming...Really! It is.......Until next time, Peace. D.

Moooove....... take action...

I was at home, and then all of a sudden it happened. I saw this big moving object go by my window. I then began to hear trampling and I thought, is there a party going on? So when I got up, and looked outside, the gate was open. The cows saw this and all started to move to this space. By the time I headed outside, they were all outside the fence. No one had to say anything to them, once they saw the gate open, they ran for it, looking at how green the grass was outside the gate. They saw the trees full of green leaves outside the gate and started eating away at them. There is a big bull my Dad has and he had the most stern look like yeah, I'm not leaving this paradise. What was I to do? The cows were out and it was all of them? I'm thinking to myself, the last time a cow got outside the gate and I tried to run him back in, he flopped down and had this look that said to me, "please, I am not in the least bit scared of you". I ran to my Dad's house and told him the cows were out. So he walks up and we have to run them back in the gate. This was funny because my Dad had me go to one side, and he was on the other. As I approached, I kept looking at this big fierce bull who was having a party eating the leaves off my grandma's tree. My dad was yelling, get closer, get closer. I kept getting closer and they did not move. That was funny. You have to speak up, and say more than "shoo" to make a cow move. I said, "shoo", the cow looked at me like, WTF? I said, "shoo, shoo". The cow, just turned his head and kept eating. My Dad, eventually came up with a loud, "Get On" and a stick with determination all on his face. He patted the cow on the butt, and....it worked. The point of this story, when you want something to move, you have to not only speak, but take action. All the cows made their way back inside the pasture and my Dad made his way back to his house. I looked at this cow and thought to myself. When the gate came open, they took action and moved. What a lesson for myself, and anyone with dreams. Don't just talk, when the door is open, get up and moooove...Hahaha... Well until next time, Peace. D.