What If???

What If??...I said "I think you are beautiful and yes I do like you and yes the reason why I'm trying so hard not to like you is because we both know, well, that I like you? What If I expressed exactly how I felt and looked love intensely in the eyes? I think back on situations I've experienced in the past  and well, I found out my vibration and energy already spoke. They already knew.:-)

Sometimes I have the hardest time saying things. There have been quite a few times I've wanted to say something, and my lips just wouldn't open up wide enough to let the words come out. When I think back, in some cases, maybe it was great I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound like I made up the Gibberish language. Who knows? But there is something that speaks for me.  My silence has said for me many times what my words could not. Others have picked up on it too, even though I was trying to play myself and them by ignoring things or running from what my vibration was bouncing back to me. When others can feel your vibration, along with intuition, they know already.   If I were to put my vibration into words, they would be pretty intense.  I like to do this sometimes and look at myself in third person. I would ask myself, what do I see?  When you can look at yourself in third person, it makes me see so many things in a different light. It was so hard for me to do one day, because  it was like I was watching myself on a movie screen and I just kept asking myself, "why does this chick keep holding back"?

 Does she have any idea that all the things she has ever wanted, can be hers? What If, you actually went for it?   So what's holding you back? Every time I saw myself, I saw myself as a little puppy, expressing with the most intense bark. Roof Roof! I kept seeing that...Roof Roof dammit! I realized, that's what's inside of me and it has to come out. I have been wondering why this feeling has been inside. Almost like, there is something great I have to create. It is not going to stop bothering me, until its done. That's why I've been rather unsatisfied with creative things I've been exposed to lately. They are simply not up to par with what's creatively brewing on the inside of me. There is something creatively intense and great that I'm going to be doing in the near future. Things are falling into place so easily. I am a little nervous of the unknown, but I do know now, I actually see what I've been expressing sometime, things are changing, right before my very eyes. Why? Because I expressed these things to myself subconsciously and consciously. Now I see they are here, in my space, in my life.  I have tried to run, I have tried to cut corners, it just will not work for me however. When my hands create, they want to reach a space that no one has reached, and touch a place, no one has felt. When my hands create, they want to express the deepest feeling, with the slightest touch. Now, its happening because I expressed it to myself, and its appearing before me.  If I did the exercise of expressing these same desires to anything I want, these things will appear to me. They will  and they have. I smile because in a blink of an eye, "what if" can be "what is". Well until next time, Peace.

D.