I admit it. There is one thing I love to do, but I don't do it often. It takes me to a different place and I feel new, and excited about life again. It gives me a charge that excites my day. This one thing is special, and if I ever share it, I'm growing in an awesome way. It makes me feel totally alive. I can feel all my senses. It is....kissing. Yes, it is intimate, it is special and it is something that is magical. Something has stopped me from this kiss with life for a long time.
I admit, I'm pretty hard on myself. I constantly try to tackle things that I think I can work on. I almost feel like sometimes I'm an extraterrestrial that's stuck in a human body. I judge. Yes, I judge myself. I try not, and I say, I try not to, but it happens. I just feel like the first person I need to look at if things don't go a certain way is myself. Some things, I have to realize, are out of my control. I cannot in any possible way control everything. Some things will just not turn out the way I want them. Sometimes also, that might be just what I need. If I had bitten some of the apples, or gone down some of the roads I could have years ago, I would not be the person I am today. It is all about growth. Some lessons you learn are placed in your path. You experience them, learn from them, grow. You cannot choose every lesson, but you can certainly learn from them.
I'm learning to breathe, exhale, and feel the release. Being hard on myself only magnifies what I don't like, not how I can grow from the lesson. With every action, there is a reaction, with every choice there is a path that you will walk down. I'm again learning to breathe, exhale, and feel the release. Once this is done, something I've been telling myself lately is so powerful. "I love you". It's Okay. This makes me feel so much better. When I relax and enjoy the love inside me, it spreads into everything I do. I then can go into a space where I am then open to learn, and grow from the lesson that was given. Now I am able to focus on the next thing, and not stay in one place because I can't seem to forgive myself or stop focusing on what could have, or should have happened.
This has made me realize how important it is to embrace all of you. Love all of you. Judging yourself makes you stop and focus on the things that keep you in a particular moment or time in your life. Life keeps going, and so do you. Life keeps loving, and so should you. The kiss of life happens when you can do one thing. Forgive. Forgiveness is one of the toughest things to do in life, but it can be the start of a new beginning.
You can move forward when you learn to forgive yourself and others that knowingly or unknowingly didn't necessarily have the best intentions for you. We can all learn from intent. This one thing can teach us so much. You can then move past hurt, anxiety, bitterness, grudgefulness, and so much more. Forgiveness, is something that can judge exactly how far we are willing to grow. Forgiveness then leads you back to the one thing that connects us all, love. You are then in a place of peace. Now, you can share it and are in a position to know how to receive it. When I'm constantly judging myself, or things I've done in the past, I can't focus on the here and now. Someone is right here with me now, ready to love, but you can't see it because of the judgment. When you remove this and realize how much forgiveness plays a part in you moving forward, you will begin to see with clarity. I go to my quiet place and think about the things that present this clarity. Then I can see, forgiveness has taught me and finally given the one thing we all so desire, the kiss of life.
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