Anger....Scared of Beautiful.......

What if you had the eyes of anger and couldn't see anything but anger in front of you? How different would your life be by seeing through those eyes. Not saying, that at times with unfairness, injustice, and just life's disappointments, we all at times see through those eyes. Some people may think anger is something that we should never feel. I think anger is a great sign that lets you know, yes you are a living being. You are real. I think its also best to express when you are angry. I was telling one of my closest friends, I was really pissed about something, and he introduced me to a cool dude, Mooji. I watched one of his videos and was blown away by his wisdom. What he said was profound. When you can clearly see the anger, identify it, communicate it, express it, its beautiful. However, don't let it consume you. I've had a habit in the past of holding stuff in, and eventually it would surface in other toxic ways. Trying to lie to myself, like the shit would pass, but it never did. It would come out in other ways. Some people I noticed, would take it out on someone else. I've never had that problem, but I would be on some grudgeful stuff for real. I noticed that about myself and didn't like it. I totally did not like how I felt. But it was me. My fault, I didn't express how I was REALLY feeling about it. I didn't know how to express it. I just allowed it to happen. Then I had that moment where the fairie came and waved her magic wand of enlightenment in my face. If I didn't express what I was feeling, what I did not like, would happen over and over again. I didn't realize I could make a situation so much better if I expressed it, even if it was anger. I had to own that. A lot of times I wouldn't express it because I felt I would lose something or someone, so I held it in. Boy, was I wrong. I would dwell on it, and get mad. Sometimes I would be completely pissed for no reason, because I didn't know how to express it. It would consume me. I'm a pretty easy going person, however when I get to that point, I feel sorry for whoever is around me. A lady that came to do a workshop at a school I once taught did a workshop on the different types of personalities, and she said I sounded at that time more like a volcano. I've never gotten to that point, but I can. While I was trying to be nice, and not express it, it was inside me. It had to come out of me. I would make smart comments and hold grudges and all kind of shit. I realize, we all have Ego. I have one. However, when your soul is trying to tell you something, but your Ego is not allowing you to listen, maybe that's a time to take a step back, and take notice. I feel that my soul, always and I rarely say always, but in this case for me, ALWAYS leads me to the path that aligns with peace within. Always. I can say there has never been a case where when I listen to my soul, it hasn't shown me that. My Ego, however has shown me a whole lot of things. It has shown me that I was a superhero, yet the situation didn't need a superhero, it only needed my honesty. Not saying that Ego doesn't have its place, it does. I just think that in some instances, it took anger to kick me in the ass, and get me to that place. I had to realize I didn't need to hold it in, or allow it to consume me. When I did, it only hurt me. It stops all the B.S., and allows both parties involved to get to the real stuff that's going on. I was listening to one of my fav artist's Brandy, and she has this song called, "Scared of Beautiful". It says, "Myself aint never talked to me like that before. And I wonder, what on Earth is she searching for? There's no mirrors on these walls no more, You can't tell me why, you are so terrified of beautiful. Scared of the Good more than the evil, Scared of the light more than the dark, Scared of the truth so much more than a lie, I'm scared of Me......In that moment, I thought this is what it is. We all love happiness, however anger can uncover whatever is going on, bring it to light, and allow you get to that beautiful place. So if you get angry, be aware, its okay. You no longer have to be "Scared of the Beautiful its trying to get you to".