"Kitty Pooh is my dawg......

When I was little, a cat just jumped into my arms, and dug her paws right into my skin. It was unintentional but it hurt like hell. From that point on, I kept my distance from cats. I never could seem to bond with them. Maybe it was a trust issue. They also look really slick and sneaky as well. As I got older, I still never bonded with cats. I was and still am a dog person. But, there is this one cat who did the unexplainable. She is quite intelligent, and a little different. I mean, this cat chills out around my parent's house and seems to be the "phat" cat out of the cat gang that likes to hang around my parent's house. I call her, "Kitty Pooh". So one day, I was walking down to my parent's house, and here she comes. I was trying to walk fast so she couldn't keep up, but I guess she knew, because her paws were moving faster to the pace of my feet. I could barely make it to my mom's top doorstep without almost tripping over her paws. She was trying to keep up with me for some reason. After opening the door to enter my parent's house, I gave a quick sigh of relief, like "woo, glad I got away from that cat." I stayed at my parent's for a few hours and was getting ready to leave. To my dismay, when I opened the door, guess who was on the top step? Yes, Kitty Pooh. She waited until I came back out and was sitting there at the top step looking up at me. I was deliberately trying to be mean to her, but she kept giving me this "pouty" look. "Uggh, what do you want?", I said. She still began to gaze at me. So, I managed to get around her and past the top of my parent's steps. I took off to my house, but she was right there. I couldn't walk for her all between my feet and walking space. As I walked up to my own porch, I was already in a grumpy mood, and kept asking her, "What do you want"? "Kitty Pooh", I called her. "We are going to have to do something about you just being all in my space. You will not leave me alone, will you"? She just looked up at me with this pitiful looking face. I looked back at her and said it again, "What do you want? "Shoo, get away from here." You get to lay around and do whatever you want all day, while I'm having to deal with this and that so, "you need to just beat it." She still looks up at me with the most pitiful look. She's still on my porch, looking straight up at me. Then I said it, "Maaaan, I just need a hug. "As soon as that came out of my mouth, look at the pic. It's funny how you can speak whatever you want into existence. It can come from the place you most least expect it too. Hahaha, well until next time, Peace. D.

Kiss of Life....

There is something wonderful that I have a connection to.  It  is something deeper that exists within. I was going through listening to my own music and then listening to some songs I may sing during some upcoming gigs. I realized after listening, there are some artists that just take me to a deeper place. One artist, is Sade. I love all her songs, and smooth sensual style. One song she sings is,  "Kiss of Life". It is so descriptive, so romantic, and peaceful. It just takes me to a different place.  There is an ambience behind the music, and it seems each musician, plays their specific part to make the song sing a beautiful serenity of love. In addition, when she sings, there is a divine romance between her and the music. It is beautiful. When I hear it, I get it, I feel it, I sense it.





This past week has been an interesting one for me to say the least. A lot of new things are happening for me all at once. It's so funny when you speak of the things you want, how all of a sudden, these things want you, and they find you. No need for you to chase anything.  Your desires begin to chase you.  I just said a little prayer one day to allow me to grow, and move in the direction of  that deeper place. Allowing myself to surrender to it.  I want to take the plunge and just swim in doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. No matter what happens, no matter what's happening around me, just being in tune to what that deeper place of creativity is. Last weekend, I went there. And wow, I was onstage, and just let go. It was a beautiful space. It was a great feeling. I think I felt that "kiss of life".

On a side note, I woke up this morning to a shocking text. My homeboy D, told me that his Aunt had passed. This woman was vibrant and fun, and had an amazing faith. She was a nurse, and always preached, see your health care professional because they are here on Earth for a reason. She was diagnosed with cancer and sometimes I would see her when I would take my mom to the doctor. She would always ask about my mom and say something encouraging. Something told me one day to just go and get her something. No rhyme, no reason. Just do it, and do it now. I admit, I have a fling with procrastination sometimes, but not this time, I acted and did it. I'm glad that I did. She had the biggest smile and even though she was a little weak physically, the joy inside her came to life. I saw her a few times afterward, but I let her know then, that she was appreciated.

 It's okay to tell people you love them, to speak what they mean to you, and to show honor and appreciation just because. Sometimes I just feel like telling someone, "hey, you are beautiful", or, I think you are special". The reminder that we are all still yet beautiful, and love is there, loving us through it all, can be the most beautiful kiss to experience. Just deciding to live in it, no holding back, leaving the fling with procrastination, and allowing life to kiss you with the deepest passion. I'm smiling because I know its happening now. I'm releasing anything that doesn't align with that kiss. It's an awesome feeling, because I'm not holding back and it's chasing me now. I'm smiling because I know I'm about to deep tongue life, and dayum,  I'm a great kisser. Well until next time, Peace.

D.

Hand Washing.... ......

This is beautiful. At the surface of everything, is this. Where would the world be if someone, somewhere didn't experience this? We all can get intellectual, we all can become deep, but you can quiet my disruption of intentionally starting an argument with this. When love grabs my hand, well, its over.  No matter how much we may make each other angry or disagree, when love holds your hand, it never lets it go. When two can do this one simple thing, it is beautiful. Love is felt, right at the surface. Wash my heart of all the doubt, and all the things that take me away from the love I'm suppose to see with you. Wash my mind so that I can only remember the loving moments and beautiful times we shared. No need for a long conversation, this says everything. I don't care what he said,  she said, we said, it said, they said, or you said, I say wash my heart with just enough room to love fearlessly. Wash the dirt away. Nothing left to say. Wash all the fear away. My hands are here so that you can feel my trust. When my hands are in yours, how clean does your heart feel? Whose hand has that fit for yours? Well Until Next Time, Peace.

D.

Exposure..............

If I closed my eyes, what would be in view to me? Absolutely nothing. I would only see darkness. Even though to someone else with their eyes open, they could see my keyboards, my guitar, and all the pictures on my wall, they could see my space and say, there is a heaven of music inside this chick. However, if I was asked what I saw, I would say "mere darkness and nothing" because my eyes are closed. I can't see anything. I would be going pretty much by what I had been exposed to. Even though there is all this musical, magical stuff in my room, I couldn't see it because, my eyes were closed.

I think we can be so conditioned by our experiences, as well as people that are close to us in our lives. My parents were the first people of whom I was able to watch and encounter, so many of my perceptions, ideals, and beliefs, even though we have some strong disagreements on certain things, I still however see my mom in me, and I see my dad so much in me. These were the first people I was exposed to. Even though I try not to admit it, and declare my independence, they speak through me in some way.


Many times, through my experiences of just living life, dealing with people, and myself, I had to dig deeper. Past experiences can affect how we look at things in the present and sometimes determine just how much we want to see. I can remember one time, I was talking to a friend, who was going through some major trust issues with a dude. I would ask her, well what do you see? Does he give you any reason to think he's seeing someone else? She would tell me constantly, "no not really, I just don't trust dudes". She has a firm belief, that no matter what cloud you think you're on, their all the same.  "I should cross on over on the other side and start dating chicks." I laughed and said, don't think because you date a chick, you couldn't have the same experience:-) However, I had to stop myself and I thought about it, we can base so much on what we experienced in the past, that's all we see in our future.  We are constantly thinking about the mud we walked in, yet we don't realize there could be a yellow brick road about a mile away, if we open our eyes to it. That yellow brick road has been there the whole time, however, we can't even see it, because we are so focused on the mud.  Even though I'm experiencing the mud right now, I know that somewhere, someway, I'm going to walk right on that yellow brick road. Even though I may not have experienced it yet, I feel and know its there. I can't stop believing that because I've only been exposed to the mud.

When we have been exposed to things, they come to life, and sometimes block the view of the beautiful things that could be awaiting us. "In photography some cameras can have positive or negative compensation. They can have more (positive) exposure, or less (negative). When I narrow my view of things and evaluate every experience from things that happened to me in the past, I look over the beautiful things that could arise from me opening my view. I had the hardest time believing this myself, but I can develop my own exposures to see the most beautiful picture. Love.:-) Well until next time, Peace.

D.

What If???

What If??...I said "I think you are beautiful and yes I do like you and yes the reason why I'm trying so hard not to like you is because we both know, well, that I like you? What If I expressed exactly how I felt and looked love intensely in the eyes? I think back on situations I've experienced in the past  and well, I found out my vibration and energy already spoke. They already knew.:-)

Sometimes I have the hardest time saying things. There have been quite a few times I've wanted to say something, and my lips just wouldn't open up wide enough to let the words come out. When I think back, in some cases, maybe it was great I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound like I made up the Gibberish language. Who knows? But there is something that speaks for me.  My silence has said for me many times what my words could not. Others have picked up on it too, even though I was trying to play myself and them by ignoring things or running from what my vibration was bouncing back to me. When others can feel your vibration, along with intuition, they know already.   If I were to put my vibration into words, they would be pretty intense.  I like to do this sometimes and look at myself in third person. I would ask myself, what do I see?  When you can look at yourself in third person, it makes me see so many things in a different light. It was so hard for me to do one day, because  it was like I was watching myself on a movie screen and I just kept asking myself, "why does this chick keep holding back"?

 Does she have any idea that all the things she has ever wanted, can be hers? What If, you actually went for it?   So what's holding you back? Every time I saw myself, I saw myself as a little puppy, expressing with the most intense bark. Roof Roof! I kept seeing that...Roof Roof dammit! I realized, that's what's inside of me and it has to come out. I have been wondering why this feeling has been inside. Almost like, there is something great I have to create. It is not going to stop bothering me, until its done. That's why I've been rather unsatisfied with creative things I've been exposed to lately. They are simply not up to par with what's creatively brewing on the inside of me. There is something creatively intense and great that I'm going to be doing in the near future. Things are falling into place so easily. I am a little nervous of the unknown, but I do know now, I actually see what I've been expressing sometime, things are changing, right before my very eyes. Why? Because I expressed these things to myself subconsciously and consciously. Now I see they are here, in my space, in my life.  I have tried to run, I have tried to cut corners, it just will not work for me however. When my hands create, they want to reach a space that no one has reached, and touch a place, no one has felt. When my hands create, they want to express the deepest feeling, with the slightest touch. Now, its happening because I expressed it to myself, and its appearing before me.  If I did the exercise of expressing these same desires to anything I want, these things will appear to me. They will  and they have. I smile because in a blink of an eye, "what if" can be "what is". Well until next time, Peace.

D.

What does "Grumpy" really think about Vday? Blah blah blah....

 I don't like this day. It is just another day.  It is this infamous Valentine's Day. For some, this is the day, they are reminded that they are not with that one they truly desire to be with. For some, this may be the day they broke up with someone. All the balloons, candy, and everybody saying I love you, "whatever".  What does grumpy do on Valentine's Day? We make fun of you ridiculous fools in love out there. Who cares anyway? Take your stupid candy, balloons, and all your mushy gushy garbage and shove it. If I see one more stupid post on love and Valentine's day I'm gonna hurl. All love does is open you up, and then cuts you like a knife. Who wants that?

What do I say about Valentines Day? Blah blah blah. And....blah!

I've been there. Yes, grumpy had me in a corner, talking to me, whispering in my ear. I sometimes felt like his facial expressions and demeanor, would be what you would see if you opened me up on the inside. Pretty ugly right? Yes. I know. I admit it though. Valentine's day can be a day for many, that they feel alone . They only feel despair, dreadfulness, and numb to anybody on that "goo goo ga ga" love tip.

But then here she comes out of nowhere. Out of nowhere, she says nothing, but her presence is felt. Yes, she comes and clears the air. She is beautiful and she carries love. Love is needed. I think "Grumpys" are needed too.  It can turn the grumpiest person into the most powerful proponent for love.  There are Grumpys. Always will be. But someone out there has enough love and strength to love "Grumpy" too.  When Grumpy finds and feels this love, all the anger, animosity, and sarcasm, can turn into a joy and happiness, the world has waited to see. So if I'm Grumpy on this Valentines Day, its all good, it just gives love another chance to show its power. Well Until next time, Peace.

D.

"Weird" or "Normal"?

I was talking to a friend of mine and he happened to mention that people called his family not your typical, "normal" family. Every time I would go and visit him, I would see his mom, and his grandma, as well as his niece. They are some wonderful people that you can sense are full of love. His grandma always greets me with the biggest hug and you can just feel she comes from that place.  From the time I've met him, I always knew there was something different about him, yet it was something that seemed very familiar to me. He has an old soul, and the way he talks, sometimes it sounds like music he's creating on the spot from his lips. He says some of the most amazing things and I don't think he knows how divine his words are. They flow. When I'm around him, I just listen. I noticed with him, I felt it. It was a peaceful wind, I felt when he spoke.

I guess one of the not so normal tendencies I have is that whatever I "feel", talks to me first. I tend to pick up and listen to the things people don't say, as opposed to what they do say. I feel them first. Feel their words. Feel their language. Feel their tone. Feel their own inner peace or conflict. This "thing" whatever it is, has been with me a long time. In most cases, it has steered me in the right path for me.:-) I guess another "not so normal" thing about me is that I've never been one to follow a lot of things. I've always found that cool space in following what feels peaceful to that inner space I have inside me. It knows when something is of peace, and it knows when something is not. It knows and it feels. Yes, it feels.

When there is a hesitation, and I don't get that peaceful feeling, I acknowledge what I'm feeling.  Whenever I get that "unsettled" feeling, I feel it, and it tells me what to do or not to do . I sometimes never have to say things, but that "feeling" has a way of guiding me to "yay" or "nah" or "hell nah". I always thought it was "weird". I am aware of it, and I acknowledge it. I am certainly aware when I do it as well, which is probably why I'm so good at feeling it with someone else. I also have this thing that happens to me sometimes, I know what a person is going to say, before they say it. Some say this is Deja vu? Not sure, but it is almost as if I have dreamed the location and setting, and I'm waiting for them to say something, and they say it. It has happened to me a couple of times, and I say to myself, okay, I've heard this somewhere before and I knew you were gonna say that. We are just re-enacting this scene. Some people would just call that "weird". Who knows?  Maybe it is.

 Sooooo, back to my friend. He asked me if I knew what the dictionary definition for "weird" was. I said, "No". He said, it is relating or being close to the supernatural. Then he asked if I knew what normal is defined as. He said the dictionary states it means to conform to a standard pattern or type. I had an "Aha" moment. Holy Cow! I'm weird. I knew it, I knew it! But I couldn't deny the other part of me. I admit. I do have normal tendencies:-) However my "Weird" is prevailing at the moment:-)  When I felt the peace he generated in the room, I knew, this was that something about him that allowed no hesitation in me sharing whatever and whenever with him. The feeling he gave was one of sincerity, love, and peace. Listening to him, you would think he's been on this Earth 80 years. Wisdom certainly doesn't have an age limit. I felt like what matters most to many others, didn't really seem like a big deal to him.

When he explained the definition, we both started laughing hysterically and he said, yes, its true, you are far from normal my dear. But its okay. You are not alone. I knew it when I first met you, and that's why we hit it off:-) You maybe weird, but its cool. You just are relating more with that "super" natural part of yourself....:-)  Now I know, my "weird" is kinda cool...!  Which one are you? Well, Happy Valentine's Day  and until next time, Peace. D.

 weird (wîrd) adj. weird·er, weird·est 1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.

 nor·mal (nôrml) adj. 1. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: